It completely overwhelms me when I think of how any given decision I have made could have drastically altered where I am now.

What Would I Have to Post Without MSN Messenger Conversations?

Mike says:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHZEOweeoaE , go to 2:55

Captain Bee says:
I have no sound

Captain Bee says:
and I am at work

Captain Bee says:
is this safe

Mike says:
kindof

Mike says:
kindof maybe

Captain Bee says:
...not at all

Captain Bee says:
you fuck

Mike says:
i gotta go to a retard convention

Captain Bee says:
what time is your convention

Mike says:
6pm

Mike says:
when i pick you up i might have someone with me

Captain Bee says:
is it a hooker

Mike says:
DO NOT MENTION THE WORDS 'RETARD CONVENTION'

Captain Bee says:
ARE WE DOUBLE TEAMING HER

Mike says:
maybe

Mike says:
she is ukranian

Captain Bee says:
They do that all the time over there

Captain Bee says:
I know it's true because I saw it in porn

Mike says:
anyways, i gotta go. do not mention the word retard pleas please please

Mike says:
nice

Mike says:
linkx?


Epilogue
Turns out his 'retard convention' was an organization meeting for Special Olympics volunteers for an upcoming competition here.

Also, the girlfriend rocks and got me an XBox 360 for my birthday, and I bought myself a ton of games.

If anybody's itching to watch me stumble around like a jackass online and get my ass kicked at Call of Duty or something, leave your info (is it called a gamertag? I don't listen to hip-hop...) in the comments and I'll add you once I get this shit up and running.

It's been a pretty insane few weeks. I've been trying to pound out a bunch of writing on my work to get it published, which is working out pretty well for me, and I had a conference in Hamilton and my birthday, all rolled into one.

It wasn't that thrilling.

Hamilton is really not a nice city. It kind of sucked. But, on the plus side, I was pretty much hammered for three straight days during the conference, which was good. When it comes down to sitting through 8-10 hours a day of boring presentations, you've pretty much gotta be wasted in order to get through that.

Oh, also, I got hit in the face with a hardball about five days before the conference, so that was pretty sweet. I had not only one, but two black eyes! Two for the price of one! I took the baseball right on my left eyebrow, and so my left eye swelled shut and turned black, but a few days later, my right eye turned black too! Bonus! I felt so special.

Obviously, I had to present my recent work at the conference. I feel like I brought a little variety to the room - sure, anyone can talk about their work, but who can do it with two horrible black eyes and not a shred of wounded pride? This guy. I feel like my charming personality, paired with my frankly revolting black eyes, really had a drawing effect to my work and captivated the masses.

Also, there were a lot of open bars.

And a lot of people getting just absolutely wasted at open bars.

Open bar + socially acceptable to get shitcanned = Captain Bee's paradise

It was just a debacle. I was triple-fisting beers most of the night. I don't think I talked to anyone that I knew that night - just randoms from the conference, 'networking'. But networking doesn't work too well if you forget who you talked to and they can't remember you either. I will say one thing, though: thank goodness for name tags. Since it was a conference event, everyone had to wear their name tag, and boy, did that bail me out a couple times. I'm awful with names.

Also, Petro-Canada employees are not as happy nor focused on customer service as one would desire at 3am in Hamilton. Just an FYI.

I think I need to post here regularly to really keep on top of things.

Regarding this post, I've been gymming 3-6 times a week, and it feels spectacular. I'm actually starting to beef up and tone up. People are noticing and it's making me feel great. I actually like throwing weights around at the gym. It's a rush. I like coming back to a machine and having to up the weight every two weeks or so as I get stronger. It's a good ego stroke, and everybody knows how much I love those.

The self-confidence/self-esteem meter is sliding back out of the red and into the yellow (where green is ideal Captain Bee territory).

Shit, I might even buy some proper-fitting, snug shirts.

Also, I drink much less now. 1-2 times a week, and only on Friday night or Saturday. I try to get to bed at a reasonable hour (i.e. before 12:30 AM) and wake up around 8 or 9 AM.

The disappointing thing about self-improvement is how long it takes to get results. I want instant progress now. Although, since it took me about four years to slowly slide into this groove, it's probably going to take more than four months to fully break out of it.

I didn't really want to get out of bed yesterday morning.

100% just burnt out from school.

So I emailed my supervisor and told him I was going to take a couple days off. He agreed.

Yesterday I lazed around all day and watched shitty daytime TV talk shows, hit the gym, then hit the bed.

Today? Shitty daytime TV talk shows, gym, bed.

I feel better already.

I think I'm going to stop using titles.

Goal #1

This weekend, I am going to set my alarm early on Sunday morning.

I will clean off my deck chair on the balcony, grab a couple (read: four) beers, and set up shop reading an excellent book.

But probably not past 10am or so...the gym calls. I've been murdering the gym since January and I actually have muscles now. This pleases me.

And Once Again, I Flip-Flop

In direct contrast to my previous post, I've told my supervisor I would like to discuss transferring from my Master's to a PhD.

The PhD would only be two more years or so, so I rationalize it as a bargain at this point.

I'm finally nearing the end of my Master's degree.

My boss constantly requests that I 'transfer' to a PhD. degree (read: 2-4 more years). I politely decline.

The reputation is that I do little, yet I have 1 publication already in print and 4-6 more to come before I'm done my Master's. Most PhD. candidates in my field are lucky to hit 5-8 publications by graduation. And yet I 'do nothing'. Simply because I keep different hours than other people, I supposedly come in late - meanwhile, I stay far past the time everybody else leaves, but who are they to know that?

I would not say I hate my contemporaries - that's a strong word - but the quality of people in my field has persuaded me to get the fuck out.

I need to escape this town ASAP.

I think my new favourite album is '808s and Heartbreak' by Kanye West.

I absolutely and completely despised it when I first heard it, but it really grew on me. A lot. I'm really astonished at how much was accomplished with a simple drum machine and stepping outside of the box.

My musical tastes are slowly changing.